happened yesterday. Kind of a follow up to the intuitive reading I had a few weeks back. Interestingly, the astrologer confirmed pretty much what my intuitive, and my intuition were telling me.... that my TC friend may lead to wonderful things..... but that my A2 friend has to be handled with some care..... that she might be quite a handful if we go the next step -- that SHE would be MORE bothered by a full blown sexual involvement that cools off later than I would. The astrologer says it's a real possibility that A2 would be much more attached than I would and would find going back to "friendship" difficult..... The astrologer even went so far as to say that it would be "real messy" once the line is crossed.
Considering that we are barely holding off being fully sexual, this has been an adjustment.... and I'm still not sure we won't go there....
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Buying a house, challenging finances
Well, it appears I am buying a house and affording the new budget, supporting two mortgages, etc, will be a challenge. the house I look to be procuring is aggressively priced and offers a decent to excellent profit / equity opportunity. But, it's a tough budget I'll be faced with, that is for certain.
M will not be happy as I will probably have to force some issues on our joint assets, especially the stock account. Oh well. I don't live for her happiness and to avoid troubling her any more.
M will not be happy as I will probably have to force some issues on our joint assets, especially the stock account. Oh well. I don't live for her happiness and to avoid troubling her any more.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
More interesting all the time
My friend in A2 and I are getting closer to an outright relationship, including sexual. We're struggling with how to go "there" and not damage the friendship if things don't work out, etc...
My friend in TC is continuing to experience some challenges in dealing with her feelings and grief over the end of the relationship she'd had.
T, my intuitive counselor saw no real issues or dangers in getting further involved with A2, but strongly feels I will end up, quite permanently and happily, with TC. It was interesting in a phone conversation yesterday that at one point, I said that TC needed some healing and recovery time and that it would be a year before she and I would be physical.... T said, that's what I was getting, but didn't want to put it out there.... confirmation, though. Take it slow and easy.
I also touched my friend in the local area, PK. T warned me way off of her. Said, accurately, that PK has too many of the same traits and neediness of my ex. That it would be unlikely to be a health-based relationship, etc... "run away"... Well, I won't do that, but I will be cautious about going further or giving PK any wrong impressions.
Finally, I called T about a house I was considering bidding on and her strong advise was BUY.
Numbers look a bit tight.... but, it's a great opportunity. House is still available and the prospective deal is pretty good. Maybe $90k to 95k.
My friend in TC is continuing to experience some challenges in dealing with her feelings and grief over the end of the relationship she'd had.
T, my intuitive counselor saw no real issues or dangers in getting further involved with A2, but strongly feels I will end up, quite permanently and happily, with TC. It was interesting in a phone conversation yesterday that at one point, I said that TC needed some healing and recovery time and that it would be a year before she and I would be physical.... T said, that's what I was getting, but didn't want to put it out there.... confirmation, though. Take it slow and easy.
I also touched my friend in the local area, PK. T warned me way off of her. Said, accurately, that PK has too many of the same traits and neediness of my ex. That it would be unlikely to be a health-based relationship, etc... "run away"... Well, I won't do that, but I will be cautious about going further or giving PK any wrong impressions.
Finally, I called T about a house I was considering bidding on and her strong advise was BUY.
Numbers look a bit tight.... but, it's a great opportunity. House is still available and the prospective deal is pretty good. Maybe $90k to 95k.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Interesting few weeks
My visit to the north was very nice. Got a nice connection going with the TC lady. I think we'll see more of each other. Over the course of Wed, Thu, and Saturday, we spent a total of 7 hours or so together. Much road traveled.... My intuitive counselor had told me this was a likely "soul mate"..... Well, that's gotten interesting.
You see, my TC friend came to MY town last Sunday night to go to the concert of her ex-BF, whom she'd had a bilateral, amicable breakoff with..... He's an extremely gifted classical guitarist. I went as well, and we all, she, him, me, and a mutual friend, and a couple other guys my friends knew, all went out afterward together..... A little odd, but not bad (she told me later she was slightly uncomfortable, but handled it. ).
So, the "getting interesting" soul-mate wise.... Well, Tuesday, over the course of the day, my upper right breast muscles began to ache and get sore. Sorer and sorer over the course of the day and evening. For no known reason. No lifting. Viral? Maybe.... But, I think it was a diredct connection with TC....
You see, I called her just after 10 p that night.... we only talked a few minutes before she began to share that she was alone in her house (son had gone to visit his sis) and she'd been experiencing wave after wave of intense grief over the ending of her relationship (of seven years).
I spent an hour and a half 0n the phone with her, then went to bed....
There, as I started to sleep, I realized that my soreness was about where another person's heart would be relative to me in a full body hug....
and that I had been physically manifesting HER broken heart over the course of the afternoon and evening.
That makes me speculate that the "soul mate" connection MIGHT be past-life / karmic in nature....
In other words, the universe is giving me NO hints about these women in my life... At least no hints that are useful!!
Sigh. /Pop
You see, my TC friend came to MY town last Sunday night to go to the concert of her ex-BF, whom she'd had a bilateral, amicable breakoff with..... He's an extremely gifted classical guitarist. I went as well, and we all, she, him, me, and a mutual friend, and a couple other guys my friends knew, all went out afterward together..... A little odd, but not bad (she told me later she was slightly uncomfortable, but handled it. ).
So, the "getting interesting" soul-mate wise.... Well, Tuesday, over the course of the day, my upper right breast muscles began to ache and get sore. Sorer and sorer over the course of the day and evening. For no known reason. No lifting. Viral? Maybe.... But, I think it was a diredct connection with TC....
You see, I called her just after 10 p that night.... we only talked a few minutes before she began to share that she was alone in her house (son had gone to visit his sis) and she'd been experiencing wave after wave of intense grief over the ending of her relationship (of seven years).
I spent an hour and a half 0n the phone with her, then went to bed....
There, as I started to sleep, I realized that my soreness was about where another person's heart would be relative to me in a full body hug....
and that I had been physically manifesting HER broken heart over the course of the afternoon and evening.
That makes me speculate that the "soul mate" connection MIGHT be past-life / karmic in nature....
In other words, the universe is giving me NO hints about these women in my life... At least no hints that are useful!!
Sigh. /Pop
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Falling in love?
Hmmmm..... My AA friend is confused and confusing me... I care about her deeply. I could fall in love with her, really easily.... Teetering on the edge sometimes....
We are very natural together. Very comfortable. More so than she sometimes realizes. SHE had a friend who saw us together and commented how "relaxed" she looked while with me.... clearly her friend thought she was seeing a great match....
Well, my friend is very trepidatious because of past hurts. And, I'm not sure she's entirely recognizing her own feelings.... She's close to falling for me, too. That could get really complicating....
Why do I think she's nearly in love.... well, if I don't call her every day, she calls me. We're very good friends, and parts of us want to be much more. She talks of the difficulties of being mixed race as a couple -- tests my comfort level with that.
But, the most telling is this. She is in a leadership position in her area and has experienced the deaths of two staff people she knew over the course of two weeks. AA cares deeply about her folks. I knew she was hurting, and that she could use some support. So I sent her a nice note of sympathy. Showed some deep caring (because I care deeply for her).... She got that note Friday night, went to the funeral on Saturday... and told me last night that all she was thinking about about there was me. The deceased had the same birthday as me. She also was the "only woman in a sea of men" -- which AA kind of correlated to me (having been the oldest of 4, 2 brothers, two sons, two step-sons....)
AA took the note as indicating that I was falling or in love with her (not quite, but I could...) What I DON'T think she's in touch with is that it's been SO LONG since she's allowed anyone into her universe, to care deeply and express loving concern..... that I do and express it makes some unfamiliar loving feelings arise for her....
But, this is really quite the challenge for me, as well..... I thought she would only get more involved if she was in a permanent, one-last relationship, etc..... but I'm not sure that's the case. I feel as if we're likely to go further than I had expected.... more than friends with benefits, but less than a full-blown, exclusive relationship.
I don't know how I feel about that. I think I need to be able to have the latitude to explore the possibilities with TC, but I don't want to abrogate my relationship with AA.
And, knowing that TC could really end up moving overseas in a couple of years, really puts a touch of concern and confusion into that possible relationship in my mind.....
Like I said, I thought my visit with TC would help clarify the pathway..... but nope!! Gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and just see where life leads me.
We are very natural together. Very comfortable. More so than she sometimes realizes. SHE had a friend who saw us together and commented how "relaxed" she looked while with me.... clearly her friend thought she was seeing a great match....
Well, my friend is very trepidatious because of past hurts. And, I'm not sure she's entirely recognizing her own feelings.... She's close to falling for me, too. That could get really complicating....
Why do I think she's nearly in love.... well, if I don't call her every day, she calls me. We're very good friends, and parts of us want to be much more. She talks of the difficulties of being mixed race as a couple -- tests my comfort level with that.
But, the most telling is this. She is in a leadership position in her area and has experienced the deaths of two staff people she knew over the course of two weeks. AA cares deeply about her folks. I knew she was hurting, and that she could use some support. So I sent her a nice note of sympathy. Showed some deep caring (because I care deeply for her).... She got that note Friday night, went to the funeral on Saturday... and told me last night that all she was thinking about about there was me. The deceased had the same birthday as me. She also was the "only woman in a sea of men" -- which AA kind of correlated to me (having been the oldest of 4, 2 brothers, two sons, two step-sons....)
AA took the note as indicating that I was falling or in love with her (not quite, but I could...) What I DON'T think she's in touch with is that it's been SO LONG since she's allowed anyone into her universe, to care deeply and express loving concern..... that I do and express it makes some unfamiliar loving feelings arise for her....
But, this is really quite the challenge for me, as well..... I thought she would only get more involved if she was in a permanent, one-last relationship, etc..... but I'm not sure that's the case. I feel as if we're likely to go further than I had expected.... more than friends with benefits, but less than a full-blown, exclusive relationship.
I don't know how I feel about that. I think I need to be able to have the latitude to explore the possibilities with TC, but I don't want to abrogate my relationship with AA.
And, knowing that TC could really end up moving overseas in a couple of years, really puts a touch of concern and confusion into that possible relationship in my mind.....
Like I said, I thought my visit with TC would help clarify the pathway..... but nope!! Gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and just see where life leads me.
connections, possibilities, unclear pathways
Well, what an interesting few weeks. I just spent several days in the north country where I was able to make connections with an auld acquaintance, a greek woman I knew slightly a dozen years ago. I had stored memories and hopes, I suppose, about her, inside.... not sure why. Just did.
Well, we have visited now for a number of hours. Before we met FTF, we talked for a several hours by phone, an hour or so at a time, over the course of a few weeks. Just before I was to go to her neck of the woods, she happened to come into my area to lecture at the college, so we actually got our initial FTF over with a day sooner than expected, visiting over tea for over an hour and a half. Of course, THAT could have ended it right there. But it didn't!! When I got to her city the next day and called to check plans, to see if we were sticking to the plan to get together, she was more than interested. Picked me up, took me here and there showing me her office and her haunts. We spent two hours visiting and getting to know each other.
We had talked about maybe getting together again on Saturday, she cancelled an afternoon appointment.... she needs to do a bunch of CMEs though, and had decided she'd better work on those.... but, it was OK if we planned to have lunch. Well, I had things I should do, too, so an hour or so over lunch was going to be OK.
Well, I stopped by her office at noon as planned. She asked if I minded walking a while, she loves to walk and swim in the sunshine. So we walked together for nearly two hours before we stopped by a metaphysical / new age bookstore and hten went to lunch.
It was 3:30 in the afternoon or later before I took my leave..... Wow.
And she wanted to know when business might bring me back up.... and other remarks later when I called to let her know I was near to getting home, clearly showed a lot of interest.
Here's why... there MAY BE a strong karmic connection here. You see, it doesn't make complete sense that for 12 years or so, I've at least slightly kept track of her. Even more interesting, MY intuition / inclination and such to contact her coincided with when she was ending a 7 year relationship. (Holy shit, I just realized that ties into the 7 year cycling that my astrologer speaks of..... I'm in my 7/14 year from my latest failed relationship).
Anyway, it is facinating that when I began to think about trying to contact her, she was breaking off with her partner. Amicably. But, breaking off.
Then it gets a bit more complicated.....
One of the things that came into the conversation is that she plans to move back to Greece when her son graduates high school. 2 years hence. That's an odd twist to contemplate. Interestingly, my intuitive counselor asked me, "What's happening in two years?"
Well, there it is.... with my TC lady. Also a two year thing with my very good friend, maybe lover to be, in the nearby city (hour away). That friend AA, is retiring in 2 years. Both are women of color (Greek and African American, respectively). TC fits the picture my intuitive saw the best....
And, who knows....
I HAD hoped that this visit would make pathways clearer.... but, no such luck. LOL
Well, we have visited now for a number of hours. Before we met FTF, we talked for a several hours by phone, an hour or so at a time, over the course of a few weeks. Just before I was to go to her neck of the woods, she happened to come into my area to lecture at the college, so we actually got our initial FTF over with a day sooner than expected, visiting over tea for over an hour and a half. Of course, THAT could have ended it right there. But it didn't!! When I got to her city the next day and called to check plans, to see if we were sticking to the plan to get together, she was more than interested. Picked me up, took me here and there showing me her office and her haunts. We spent two hours visiting and getting to know each other.
We had talked about maybe getting together again on Saturday, she cancelled an afternoon appointment.... she needs to do a bunch of CMEs though, and had decided she'd better work on those.... but, it was OK if we planned to have lunch. Well, I had things I should do, too, so an hour or so over lunch was going to be OK.
Well, I stopped by her office at noon as planned. She asked if I minded walking a while, she loves to walk and swim in the sunshine. So we walked together for nearly two hours before we stopped by a metaphysical / new age bookstore and hten went to lunch.
It was 3:30 in the afternoon or later before I took my leave..... Wow.
And she wanted to know when business might bring me back up.... and other remarks later when I called to let her know I was near to getting home, clearly showed a lot of interest.
Here's why... there MAY BE a strong karmic connection here. You see, it doesn't make complete sense that for 12 years or so, I've at least slightly kept track of her. Even more interesting, MY intuition / inclination and such to contact her coincided with when she was ending a 7 year relationship. (Holy shit, I just realized that ties into the 7 year cycling that my astrologer speaks of..... I'm in my 7/14 year from my latest failed relationship).
Anyway, it is facinating that when I began to think about trying to contact her, she was breaking off with her partner. Amicably. But, breaking off.
Then it gets a bit more complicated.....
One of the things that came into the conversation is that she plans to move back to Greece when her son graduates high school. 2 years hence. That's an odd twist to contemplate. Interestingly, my intuitive counselor asked me, "What's happening in two years?"
Well, there it is.... with my TC lady. Also a two year thing with my very good friend, maybe lover to be, in the nearby city (hour away). That friend AA, is retiring in 2 years. Both are women of color (Greek and African American, respectively). TC fits the picture my intuitive saw the best....
And, who knows....
I HAD hoped that this visit would make pathways clearer.... but, no such luck. LOL
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