Her life

So, M has been making a point, I think, of having mostly less contact, and usually civil when she does. A little outside, at times, but mostly it's calm.... for now.

But, she booked a trip 2000 miles away, to ski for Xmas and all. Took her boy that lives in this area, and a friend of his (they drove!!) and had her older son meet her at the resort. It did NOT go well. I hear there was some good skiing, but wacko mom came out big time. The younger boy didn't complain much, but I know his tolerance got stretched a bit.... But, the older boy couldn't stand the scene overly long. Not a surprise. He's a bipolar person, and has to watch his emotional state. He's been working hard, I think, to keep his exposures to negativity low..... Anyway, I'd heard from the younger that the older boy seems to be buying his mother's "poor, abused me" stuff and that he pretty much agrees that "mom's really better off away from L".....

Here's the rest of the story. His aunt, whom I remain friends with, emailed him to see how things went and how he's doing, and here is what he wrote back to her. It is VERY TELLING about how ill M continues to be. I've left the names, as they're first names only and meaningless on their own:

Well since you asked... Yeah I had some serious reservations about spending 8 days with Mom and Josh, the only reason I went along with it was to support Mom being free of L (so she says) she was adamant on "the fam" spending Xmas together, so I went along with it, for as long as possible anyways. She was correct, it was freezing up there. Since everyone was bitching about me having the thermostat set at 75, one night I was wearing several layers, wrapped up in a blanket, wearing ski gloves in the condo. I've always been thin blooded but living in AZ for so long has taken it to the extreme. As far as snowboarding goes (or any winter sports for that matter) I'd rather not, the memory of my last outing when I broke my back is still fresh in my mind and I still feel the effects on a daily basis, so I'll stick to hiking, biking and camping thanks. I thought I made that relatively clear before hand, but occasionally we only hear what we want and not what is said. As far as the rest of the trip.... Yeah I talked to Lisa quite a bit, with her is where I really wanted to spend my holiday and she's been a huge part of my life and I far from enjoyed the company I was in, which is unfortunate but true. The first morning we were all together Mom was slamming cupboards as a way to wake Josh, I don't think she took into consideration that that was a rude way to wake me up, as if I should have expected anything less. Christmas day went like this-woke up-exchanged a few gifts-everybody left- I spent the day by myself- they came back and Josh and Mom had one of those verbally abusive arguments, she took off, Josh was bitching at me about her, when she returned they got into it again but this time mom started including me in her distain for josh (probably since I wasn't getting involved and defending her), so I started making reservations to get out of there. I packed my bag, booked a non-refundable hotel stay for the following two nights in Salt Lake City and the next day they all went skiing and when they came home I asked if someone would take me to SLC and mom said no, Josh said no, so I started looking into a rental car (again), of course nothing was available, so mom pitched a fit and said she'd take me even if it meant she might drive off the mountain because she was so tired. At that point I didn't want to get into a car with her anyways and I think it was shortly after she flung a flash light at me which flew apart after making contact with my shin and after she stopped flying off the handle and cussing at me that I informed her I would suck up the $100 I just wasted on the hotel room that night and stay at the condo if I could get a ride to the hotel the next day. So the remainder of the evening was spent listening to her talk shit to me and calling me everything but white but by the time she was on her way to bed she had settled down, she wrote me a check for $100 which I ripped up and threw in the trash. I interpreted that gesture as her attempt to excuse bad behavior or maybe it's her way of saying "I'm sorry". Needless to say when she realizes the check was never cashed I hope she understands that her informal apology was not accepted. Anyways, the next day things only got worse, after she dropped Josh and Andrew off at some ski resort she continued the onslaught of name calling, sarcastic remarks, verbal/emotional abuse- which I must say, having to listen to her put me down for an hour and a half certainly challenged my ability to keep myself in place of love and content. Even with my ipod on and the volume cranked up to drown her out I couldn't escape all the negative energy that was flowing my way. The entire experience was truly a living hell, but I learned a great deal. Family a side, those two are miserable people. Regardless of the fact that they are "blood", in my life I choose not to surround myself with people like that (hence I live 2800 miles away.) Between Josh trying to fire up arguments with me and Mom verbally trying to coax me off a cliff, thankfully I made it home pretty much unscathed (or so I keep reassuring myself), having only wasting 6 1/2 days and $400. At least when I got back to AZ I turned right around and drove to CA to see Bill, which was much needed and long over due. It was really great. I'm thankful that our relationship really evolved in the few days we shared together. Hopefully, someday you and I can do that. Considering most of the time we have spent together was when I was a little terror. Thank goodness I can't really be held accountable for being such a little shit back then! LOL

My life these days

is better than ever. I bought a foreclosed house I'm fixing up quickly. Will have created $40k or so in equity in it by summer. Enjoying living on my own. Dating. Have an FwB, although at our age, she'd rather be thought of as someone who hangs out with me, casually dating, and occasionally having sex..... Whatever. She's my best friend, but the romance bit isn't really a "thing" for good or ill or otherwise. Just a couple people who enjoy each other's company, and, occasionally, each others "parts". LOL.

Work's challenging for many reasons but it'll pass. Money's tight. But that will pass, too.

And, visiting with my son's family, enjoying my 5 y.o. grand-D, GREAT!!!