strange, strange mood

I am in the oddest mood tonight..... B stayed over last night. Very cuddly. Was quite late when we got in... she did some massage and healing work on me which was beneficial... nonsexual (a bit of good natured teasing, but no sex).... and none this a.m., but quite cuddly and loving all around. She hung out til almost noon. Thing is, sshe got razzed up and didn't really sleep until almost 4 a.m. I tried not to let it bother my sleep, but it was more costly to my sleep than I realized.... sort of dragged me out all day today.

We made no further plans, other than to talk later..... but, this is the odd thing.... I didn't think I wanted any company, hers or anyone's.... and yet when I didn't reach her to even talk.... and didn't get the opportunity to "beg off" going out.... or to go out..... well, it's been odd. I presume she found somthing to do.... which she should. She's independent and autonomous..... and I have figured out she doesn't like to be idle much at night....

Anyway.... it's been an an odd night... I went out to hear some jazz on my own, and that was fine. But, weirdly.... I think I've been bothered by not reaching her.... and, because she might be out with her other gentleman friend, I think I may be jealous. NOT a familiar feeling. Very odd feeling.

I hardly know what to make of that!!

And, well, A2 is in a odd mood as well. Filled with her own worries and thoughts.... although, again, I'm not sure where she really is regarding the potential for relationship. I don't think she has the faintest idea herself....

Anyway, I think both these women would like to have a fulsome relationship.... and yet, I also am pretty sure that it's not right yet for me to settle down to one woman and one relationship and just get back to repeating old patterns....

Nov 1 horoscope

by Holiday Mathis seems pretty apropos these days (I am a double Libra with strong Scorpio)

Neptune, the king of dreams, has been traveling retrograde since May 26 and now changes his course. His direct movement inspires the development of projects and intentions that have been waiting on the back burner. You'll probably realize that as much as you thought you were ready before, the timing is now far more perfect.

ARIES (March 21-April 19). You are relaxed and confident, so your conversation flows. Before you know it, you've completely lost yourself and become immersed in a fascinating new acquaintance. You ask all the right questions.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Though by now you think you're able to predict just what a loved one will say and do, it turns out that there are a few surprises. A third party changes the dynamic in a favorable way. Your interest is sparked anew.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The one who says it can't be done is really saying that he or she doesn't have any idea how to do it. Your vision can still come together. All you need is one other person to believe it along with you.

CANCER (June 22-July 22). Your emotions are engaged, which makes it more difficult to see things as they are. That's alright — objectivity is overrated. Instead of keeping your cool, go even deeper into the feelings.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You are masterful at creating the kind of eye-catching, imaginative illusions that make others want to leap into your world — but don't let them. It's far more effective to slowly envelop them. Create a journey.

TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (NOVEMBER 1). Your interests multiply and fill your life with relaxing, happy hours. You get a fresh start with a job or relationship this month. There's a rush of activity in your personal life and you'll be making an important commitment in December. The effort it takes to make money is reduced in January, and you make more, too. Taurus and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 13, 6, 1, 15 and 42.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You're still trying to gage how much control you really have over a situation. Right now it seems like very little, and that's something to accept. Ride it out. Things take a turn for the better tomorrow.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You're dangerously unguarded when it comes to love. It's like you're putting your heart out there to see who will take a bite out of it. Ultimately your reward will match your risk.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You like to visit places you've never seen, but prefer to do that with people you know well. The shared excitement of exploring somewhere new builds the bonds of your relationship with your travel partner.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov.22-Dec. 21). You can't afford to have things around you that don't work. Give yourself a limited time to get repairs, mend the tears and fix whatever needs it. And if it still won't go, cut your losses.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). If you feel a bit stressed out, it's a signal that you need even more responsibility. Increase your task load and things fall in order. When the going gets tough, you can accomplish amazing feats in a few hours.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Out-of-the-ordinary things happen for you and to you. Your whimsical approach to life will start a magical chain of events. Your secret desire could come to life right in front of your eyes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It's so attractive the way you can grasp the psychology of a person. You effortlessly soak in the essence of people. You get near them and know them, absorbing their inner world by osmosis.

WELCOME NOVEMBER: The derivation of the word "November" is Latin, correlating with the number nine. Now that just doesn't make sense, considering that it's the eleventh month of the year. But the Roman calendar existed for a time without the months of January and February. And there is music and melancholy in "novem," as the poets have discovered over the years. One cannot help but make the association with the cold end of things — like plants and love affairs and life — and at the same time perhaps find some appreciation for the temporal nature of all that is beautiful. Astrologically the month of November belongs largely to Scorpio, one of the more intense signs of the zodiac. Scorpio is credited as being the sexiest sign and the cutting truthfulness this sign wields is responsible in part. Scorpio acknowledges and accepts that there is always more than meets the eye. There are thoughts between the words, informative space between the image and energy around object. Scorpio recognizes that we are spirit in a material world and gives credence to things like omens, pheromones and micro-gestures. This is the month that your life will be enriched by the depth of your awareness.