I am in the oddest mood tonight..... B stayed over last night. Very cuddly. Was quite late when we got in... she did some massage and healing work on me which was beneficial... nonsexual (a bit of good natured teasing, but no sex).... and none this a.m., but quite cuddly and loving all around. She hung out til almost noon. Thing is, sshe got razzed up and didn't really sleep until almost 4 a.m. I tried not to let it bother my sleep, but it was more costly to my sleep than I realized.... sort of dragged me out all day today.
We made no further plans, other than to talk later..... but, this is the odd thing.... I didn't think I wanted any company, hers or anyone's.... and yet when I didn't reach her to even talk.... and didn't get the opportunity to "beg off" going out.... or to go out..... well, it's been odd. I presume she found somthing to do.... which she should. She's independent and autonomous..... and I have figured out she doesn't like to be idle much at night....
Anyway.... it's been an an odd night... I went out to hear some jazz on my own, and that was fine. But, weirdly.... I think I've been bothered by not reaching her.... and, because she might be out with her other gentleman friend, I think I may be jealous. NOT a familiar feeling. Very odd feeling.
I hardly know what to make of that!!
And, well, A2 is in a odd mood as well. Filled with her own worries and thoughts.... although, again, I'm not sure where she really is regarding the potential for relationship. I don't think she has the faintest idea herself....
Anyway, I think both these women would like to have a fulsome relationship.... and yet, I also am pretty sure that it's not right yet for me to settle down to one woman and one relationship and just get back to repeating old patterns....
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