random thoughts

So, the simplest explanation is that B had a bit of a mood crash and proceeded as she did.... but that gets into lousy territory for me, that is for damn sure.

Another is that she does have an addictive disorder (that's mostly controlled) and she simply sometimes ends up abusing our joint drug of choice -- alcohol.... which gets into lousy and worrisome territory for her (and me). Now, there is not a pattern here that would support the over-use scenario -- it seems random and few and far between.

The third, really far-out possibility is that she is involved with another man and.... again, I don't think that's too likely -- but sometimes, what with the accusations toward me for other women (projection??) and the continued instability she seems to have within our relationship -- I wonder.

No, actually what I think it is is that she has BPD characteristics -- not full-blown BPD -- but characteristics. Sometimes they bubble up and when they do, I don't enjoy her very much.... not to mention, I end up having to manage my own PTSD based feelings and reactions.

So far, in this particular circumstance, I am simply giving her distance and pretty much leaving it be. I'm not trying to take responsibility that is not mine nor am I trying to "fix" anything. Nor am I taking responsibility for HER mood or fixing her feelings or giving her unnecessary and unhealthy assurances.

In other words, I THINK I am managing to let this be without having a codependent reaction or action....

And, part of me is just willing to figure she did something weird, a little passive aggressive or something, and well, the hangover is just part of her "enjoyment" LOL of her bender....