Hmmm... Been sick for 5 days with a nasty URI. B is on the downside with hers - she's been ill - hard at times - for nearly a month, poor thing. I think I'll have this pretty well done by Sunday, myself. There will be a little residual, but not all that much. This is similar to the bug that took me out for 5 days last May.  ( I could not recall when, but my fussy boss lady mentioned it in terms of a possible work slip. . 

So anyway, I didn't have the energy to rise to a fight with B just before noon. Had to give her a lot of reassurance - apparently I left my browser set to "Private browsing" all day without realizing it.... and she encountered that last night (she always alleges to do such things accidentally - "not snooping".... I'm not so sure about that.)

So, of course, that gave rise last night to her usual rounds of anxiety about other women, that I am involved in some way shape or form (easy sex, seeking other relationship(s), etc).

I'm not and told her exactly that, yet again. She did press to know why I had bothered to be privately browsing then and I told her truthfully that I'd take a quick look at some porn, but then realized I was really in no mood or state to continue with that viewing and such. Told her, again truthfully, that that's the only reason I ever use that function.

One of my responses - that she could have seen exactly what I'd been up to by checking history turns out to be errant on my part. I experimented afterward and discovered that nothing is tracked at all during the private session, period. I thought some was, at least in the cache, until one quits out of the private use. Oh well, my error.

Anyway, when I said that, she denied looking/checking the history - says she doesn't "snoop in your stuff..."

Yeah, sure. That's why the mail client I KNOW I quit out of I regularly find open after she's been on the computer.

Doesn't other me much. I try to be mostly, but not utterly, an open book.

She was pretty worried that I'd have a very negative reaction and end the relationship. That harks back to a couple weeks ago when I did some air clearing with her about some concerns of mine that had arisen - and told her that if I felt like I was consistently back in a situation where MY anxieties (tightness of chest, that sort of thing) were getting regularly triggered due to her sometimes withdrawn, quiet disposition that sometimes is just her, but often is a sign that "there's troubledness" nigh.... If I started feeling regularly as I once did with M, I'd end the relationship.

She did wonder for herself if there are maybe too many toxic elements for here in this relationship as well....

But in this particular case, partly because I don't feel well enough for umbrage, we had a reasonable and level airing of her concerns and my responses.

All in all, that's progress - went well.