B & me

Well, here it is two weeks later. At this point B and I have attended a concert together (kinda, we both decided we wanted to go so I saved her a seat, etc).

and one thing leads to another and now we're talking again regularly. We've even slept together, twice this week. Literally. Slept and cuddled.

I'm feeling better about this at the moment. Although, her tendency to get anxious and hide that until she wants to talk (or act) is a bit too much like my Ex. Nonetheless, I enjoy her company and I actually don't think she's emotionally dependent or demanding. Just some of her coping mechanismss that make me feel / respond with old tapes. Working on that.

To that end, I want to talk to her and gauge how the whole anxiety thing is going. I know a large part of it was the (unexpressed) rivalry / jealousy toward A2. THIS time, I'm going to try and stay OUT of that morass. Each relationship needs to stand on its own. One may rise above the others and become that lifetime / forever thing. But.... all relationships for me right now need to be pretty laid back and easy and undemanding. No expectations. No guilt, etc.

To that end I want to check on that, AND I want to converse about becoming lovers. This could happen just on its own, but I'd much prefer to have talked about it and have us make every attempt for that particular involvement to be fully volitional.

But, I have come to a realization that I would like to take B as a lover. But, by that, I don't intend to give up A2 at this point. Hopefully neither will put me in a precarious or compromizing position.

As I said, each needs to stand on its own.