by golly, I have jealous feelings, too!

Well, this is quite interesting to me as I explore new aspects of life and of my self. For the SECOND time in recent memory, I ACTUALLY FEEL A BIT JEALOUS of B's involvement with another(s).

It's slight, but there -- and I've noticed it before in similar situations....

This particular time, the feeling came on after I texted B this a.m. mid morning with a breezy message and got back, "I'm out of town 4 a few days. Hope ur having a gr8 time."

Now, mind you, she COULD be out of town with a relative (sis, for instance, or niece)... or a non-romantic friend.... Or just on her own "because", which she does sometimes to clear her head / collect herself....

Anyway, the rest of what I DO know is that the weekend before I left (and the weekend AFTER I was at A2) B had plans Fri / Sat maybe Sunday to go to Chicago. She never said with whom, but DID refer to a "we".... I didn't ask, but I assumed it was to be a trip with her other romantic interest, W. OTOH, I didn't end up certain of that, because when the weather got lousy, B made the decision to cancel because "no one else was making a decision" which made me think maybe there were several going, in which case it was more likely relatives than a romantic trip....

Still, in advance of the probable trip, because of MY ASSUMPTION she was going with W, I was a little bit jealous.

Now, again, with NO previous conversation about it or previous info, I find she's "out of town".... (kinda unexpectedly for my part)...

and again, maybe moreso, I'm assuming THIS is a trip somewhere with W, and I do feel a little anxious and jealous about that!!

This is ironic, because I've been adamant, at least indirectly, about B accepting MY second involvement -- yet, it seems to be difficult for me to accept hers when it confronts me, however indirectly.

I don't think there's anything to do about it, or even to talk about much (maybe a little)

But it's very interesting to find myself bothered by some of the same feelings toward that as B as toward me and mine at times....

Too, too interesting.

What I think it means is that, either I'm having (as she is) understandable feelings, OR there's a degree of relationship addiction popping up, or more likely, BOTH.

For now, it's enough to just note and acknowledge the feeling and examine it....