Ugh. Contemplating that of late, I'm feeling a bit anxious within the marriage / relationship. Seems like I often have anxiety over the possibility I might offend, upset, or "hurt" B - all are pretty easy to do, sigh. Or anxious in the evening, at bedtime that I have already and there'll be a price to pay.
We both come from some pathological places. Not sociopathic, just some patterns from childhood and other relationships that spill over into "US".
Plus, we are both really good at noticing (and taking responsibility for micro expressions and the emotions behind them.... even if no words are exchanged.
I suspect part of what I'm encountering is B's continuing mood struggle. She's trying life without any SSRI and that's making her more anxious and irritable....
Not really much to do with all this. Just acknowledging and noting the feelings and experience.
Realized I have left something out.... It's clear (too often) that B is regularly concerned / anxious about making me "mad" or angry.... Similar set of feelings for her. One trouble beyond, though, is that she can take the most minor statement or expression of irritation as my being "really angry" and usually "at me". Etc. It's rare I'm really, truly angry at her. And infrequent that I get particularly angry at all. I've mellowed with age....
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