Predictable projection

Before last evening was over, well before actually, we had a round.

M wanted to know "How long will it be THIS time that you want nothing to do with me?!"

I said, "I've left you alone since you came upstairs because that's what it appeared you wanted."

I told her she'd made a couple of nasty remarks, and at the end (on the deck) she had said in a nasty manner (with energy) "So, you'll do what YOU want and I can just take MY sorry ass to the urgent care myself, which I can do!" and left to go upstairs.
She denied communicating anything nasty and said she'd gone upstairs because she was tired of being up and around, etc, etc.... I told her she said nothing like that, and reiterated what she'd communicated with what she had said, the way she'd said it, and all that.

She continued to point fingers at me and we bickered about who said what and what was meant.... and she brought up my several hours out of the house on Thursday (actually it was Friday).

I took a lot of umbrage and basically started in on all the ways she was saying I'd failed her.... I ticked them right back off at her.... She didn't care for that....

I / we did manage to get through it without a total and complete blow out. But, I finally pretty much quit the interaction and went back downstairs.


As I contemplated the whole thing, I realized that most of the feelings and attitudes she was accusing me of, were hers -- which I knew at the time as well... and that all this was was (predictable) projection.

I also woke up realizing that I needed to communicate that my actual priority for today was and is to get her situation dealt with -- the follow up and helping her count pills -- those are first priority. Other stuff, including the family reunion, will have to work in around those, if possible.