So what to tell B

Here's the issue I'm wrestling with. Having stepped back from the budding relationship with B, I was realizing I had fallen into some unhealthy patterns and responses... NEVER turning down and opportunity to get together (and we'd gotten so we spent almost every available non-work, waking moment together....) which was definitely approaching an unhealthy engulfment...

I also found myself having to abridge myself, my involvements with other friend. M, my decorator, for instance, observed that I really had ostracized my other female friends while getting more involved with B.... Which is true, and which is a pattern of behavior of trying to satisfy the woman's sensibilities, accommodate her insecurities, etc, etc...

But I compromised myself.

With some distance, I've come to realize that B has a lot of healing left to do and that having a relationship with her was going to be emotionally complex. DRAMA!!!! which I had quite enough of.

A2 is simpler. Probably not someone that I can be enhanced by in the sense of higher purpose / self, but otoh, A2 is unlikely to do harm....

I think B offers the unfortunate prospect of potential harm, or at the least, an arrest in higher self development. A contrasting opinion to what I had a few weeks ago, but one I think is accurate. A2 will neither help that aspect nor harm it, as far as I can tell.

And T is much more positive nowadays about A2's energy than about B's. Says B has way too much going on. T picks up on A2's general state of happiness and joyfulness -- something I've experienced too little of, partnership-wise.

So, bottom line is, I think I had fallen into some similar flawed patterns of behavior with B as I'd had with my last relationship with the borderline. No surprise, B had an abusive childhood and troubled relationship with her mom. I suspect there is something innate and needy I pick up on, despite her appearance as a strong, emotionally self-contained person....

I realize, but am at a loss how to convey, that for the foreseeable future, B and I can be friends, perhaps, but not more. More offers pain and unhealth in the relationship.

So far, A2 offers some simple joys and joie de vivre. Seems like an obvious choice!!