Major change in my world in the last few weeks. Hard to
explain, but I lost my presidency to a 25 y.o. boy.
3 years out of school, for pity's sake. Not really lived
life at all. Yet, my organization's executive board chose to
install him in my place.... weird politics in the background.
Again, hard to explain. Let's just say this kid was campaigning
for real in the background, while giving me a story about
being nominated as a token opposition. It's a decision that
will prove to be harmful to the members' interests, but
not one I can reverse or change.... So, life moves on.

Fortunately, I have a good relationship with my counterparts
at the employer and I have a job waiting if I want it. It's not
really a question of taking it -- and it's a good opportunity --
it's just a matter of details.

Big adjustment, though. I will go from being almost completely
self-directed, with fulsome authority and autonomy, to having
to follow directions and have almost NO autonomy. Ouch!!

But life has taught me, if nothing else, to be flexible and roll
with the punches. And more and greater opportunity is likely
to come along. The job waiting is at least a credible stop-gap
for me.

Angel oracle guidance tonight

Well, so I went to get a DVD from my shelf to put on and my
"Healing with the Angels" deck (Doreen Virtue) called to me...

So I went through just basic exercise of casting 3 or
4 cards.... Very, very interesting.

Card 1: recent past -- New Beginnings. Yipe!! (and NO KIDDING,
that sure is what's up!! From the booklet, "A clean slate is
presented to you as you now encounter fresh opportunities
and novel experiences.... Embrace the new in your life.....
Sometimes we cling to old routines because they are
familiar....the angels ask you to be open to
new approaches to life..... allow yourself to be
stretched.....

Card 2: present life situation -- Self-Acceptance.
"Let go of negative self-judgements and enjoy
being you.... While it's important to have high standards,
it's important to view yourself through loving eyes.

Card 3: Near future events -- Miracles. "Expect a miracle....
be open to allowing God to help you resolve your
challenges in ways that will surprise you....Blessings are
surrounding you right now. Be open to a miracle
coming your way.

Card 4: Further future -- Truth & Integrity. "You are
guided to be very honest with yourself, and to be
true to yourself in all of your activities and actions....
Let go of anything inauthentic and all activities that
do not mirror your highest intentions for yourself.
Surrender troubling conditions.... Release the unhealthy
situation(s) and healing will happen rapidly....Expect
a miracle when you decide to "be true to you".

more info

I have come to find out that there was far more going on covertly to engineer the recent change to my leadership capacity than met the eye at first. Much more. Quite disappointing, I must say, that people I thought respected me apparently do not. There is a fundamental lack of integrity that occurred that is very very troubling.

But, it's time for me to move on for now and let it be!!

Other consderations

This change is a large financial blow to me. I'm going to have to rapidly assess how to deal with that, as well. Probably starting with forcing M to deal with the house we own together. I CANNOT any longer support her by being the sole payor of the mortgage on that property. This situation FORCES me to a point of having to press her to pay the mortgage herself, or better yet, buy me out. Or sell the place. The status quo won't work.

I can afford my lifestyle and choices that are likely going to be available with a new placement at the employer -- if I only have to pay MY expenses and not the old "joint" expenses. She will have to find a way to "step up" or do something..... Or lose the house, together....

I also have a very nice Ford F-150 that I probably better get serious about trying to sell. For the time being, if I can get rid of it, I should be able to pick up another cheap around town vehicle that could be minimally insured. With no truck payment and low insurance payments, that too would help massively in my new financial situation to come.

OTOH, I think I have to continue making at least basic progress with my own house. Certainly getting the carpeting installed as planned. Roof?? Needed, but I'm not sure what I'll do with this situation being what it is....

We'll just have to see.

Life changes

Today, my life took yet another unexpected turn. In effect, I lost a job that I thought was quite secure. I had a leadership position with an organization, governed by an executive board that elects the organization's leadership / officers. We've had a political war with some dissenters from within the greater membership for the last year.... which I thought I'd handled by and large gracefully for the organization. However, the board apparently, with perhaps too little aforethought, decided otherwise... and elected new leadership.

It's disquieting that they did such a thing with virtually no prior warning. I really did not see this coming.

Thing is, I don't know as they really assessed the potential consequences of their actions. I don't know as they understand that ultimately, they've fallen into the traps laid by the dissenters, even though the board is not part of that dissenting effort. They've essentially ratified the criticism mounted against me, personally.... and by extension, indicted the organization.

Not to mention, they've put a leader in place who is too young, has too little experience, etc. I don't think the broader membership is going to be well served by this change. It would be one thing to move toward succession in a considered and measured fashion. But what they've done here, however naively or inadvertently, bodes ill for the future of the organization. That worries me.

For my part, I am trying to stay optimistic -- confident that I will get through this in good order. Be placed in a good opportunity with the employer and that I will be, for my part,
OK in the long run. Big change.... but OK.

Still, I am disturbed and disquieted. All I can do is let things transpire as they will, though, and be open to a better future than ever.... whatever that may be for me.

Practically speaking, mucking out my office is not a small thing.... I'm not the most organized, either... So there are masses of papers to go through and organize in some fashion, even if that isn't my best talent. Mentoring the new leadership quickly.... etc, etc.... All that is more daunting to me than the prospects of finding a placement again at the U.

Big sigh.....