Plusses and minuses and fears

So, when it comes to staying in a relationship, there are plusses, minuses, and for me - with a strong probability of dementia issues in my future - a dollop of fear for the long term.

So with B - plusses
Much of the time she treats me well, used to give my body a lot of massages, less so now. Good lover, likes outdoor sex, maybe even a slight bit of kink to be had with her. She's good looking for 61 yo. Much of the time quite mentally healthy. Seems mostly physically so. Fun girl when she's in her faie mood. Sexually well adjusted, if not completely so emotionally. Seems to have become as comfortable providing a complete BJ as having intercourse - usually due to her "equipment" not being up to the latter.

Downside - she has more than a few BPD tendencies which in turn remind me a bit much of times with M. Her temper can be unpredictable - although not so volatile as M was. She's just as insomniac as M was - maybe worse.... she's walking on eggshells and being inordinately careful with interacting with me a lot - she doesn't take the least bit of pique or irritation on my part at all well (leftover from her childhood I'm sure). And she is as poor as a church mouse. Her income stream is unsteady at best. She would tend to be more of an economic liability or drag than an asset.

OTOH, I think if I were to become stricken she would be very dedicated to my well being and welfare.

on the physical side - I get concerned because she is not very active....

also, while she doesn't look her age, I look younger than mine by nearly 10 years I think. She shows many signs of her age.... and sometimes I can't help but think about life with someone who is and looks younger....

OTOH, who wants to go back through the awful process of trying to find a "someone".

I'd be pretty much inclined to take a year or better off from dating and looking I think for the most part. Right now my libido has become low enough that I'm not sure I'd even be interested in a casual fuck or fuck buddy....

Mostly I lean toward continuing to work this out.... but more and more I'm feeling like that may be impossible....

Guess we will see.