Sunday, October 26, 2008

Issues arising with B, Tarot

an attempt to clarify and inform and cover appropriate ground with B tonight did not go well.

Druidcraft Tarot reading
Hexagram spread very interesting (useful for insight into relationships)

card 1, THE APPARENT, CONSCIOUS ISSUE: The moon - change, perhaps a difficult emotional journey ahead. Maybe experiencing a felling of loneliness or isolation. Definitely a period of change with the attendant fears that go with change....
card 2, THE POINT OF TENSION: Q of Cups, R - this card has come up re: B before, and she readily affirms it as one of her representations. In the reverse, it speaks to emotional wounds, depths of feeling, quoting, "However she may want to express her love positively, her inability to find healing can make her emotionally dependent and manipulative."
Card 3, THE WAY TO RESOLUTION: the Lady - opening to trust and abundance. Open to love and trust. I think the meaning is to not allow the bumps in the road with B to damage my progress toward being able to love and trust -- esp considering there are, at times, some definite similarities she has with M. Not BPD, exactly, but some similarities in reactions and remarks.
Card 4, THE UNRESOLVED OR UNCONSCIOUS INNER DETERMINENT: Rebirth - a call to change. Perhaps a crossroads / decision that must be made (between the two women I love?? hmmm) "You have chosen life and emerge reborn" - perhaps apt for what I've been doing this past couple years!
Card 5, THE PIVOT OF CHANGE: Ace of Wands, R - feeling blocked, experiencing frustration - a sense of barrenness rather than potential -- but this feeling will pass.
Card 6, THE KEY TO HARMONY: Six of Cups, R - may be either releasing old wounds, or clinging inappropriately to a person or situation that has long ago ceased to be of value to you. Attending to the past to grow and learn is all well and good, but you must let go of attachments to events that have already occurred..... I feel as if this is a reference to my tendency to let the way M would react, or my defense mechanisms relative to her, still dictate the way I comprehend or create undue issues / anxieties for me.... B says I create the drama in my relationships (at least with her....) I'm not sure I agree.... but who knows.

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