Feeling disquieted

Last night on my way out the door I caught my new boss's  boss and had some conversation I'd wanted to for a while. Regarding certain issues with arbitrary policies dictated by my immediate supervisor, and more general topics about our business as well. Anyway, I didn't recollect that B was going to be home by shortly after 6p.

I got home at roughly 6:40 and rather than make up an excuse or story, I simply told the truth about where I'd been and why I was a bit late. Mind you, I didn't expect B to be home before 7 or 730 per normal. She said she told me of the early quit, but I didn't hear it.

Anyway, it did pass through my mind that since this new boss is a woman.... B might have her now all-too-typical jealous/insecure reaction.... She did.

Last night after we went to drinks and dinner a bit more came out. I didn't think it was a negative conversation, just a conversation. But I think she stayed a bit tense about it. Doesn't help that she had some lousy medical news yesterday and was feeling a little unwell herself, just as I am not feeling great (I continue to be struggling to get over this nasty winter bug that's hit the Midwest).

Anyway, as I contemplate some of what was said and has been said, it's occurring to me that deep down B truly believes that I am either actively unfaithful, or that I inevitably will be. She cannot seem to accept in her subconscious that it can be otherwise.

If my analysis is true, I think that augers poorly for the future of the relationship. I don't see how a couple can have a long-term, vital, honest relationship when one of the two cannot bring themselves to believe the other will keep a fidelity commitment.

I think that's a huge concern. However, at the moment, I'm also realizing that with health issues and feeling generally lousy, it's pretty hard for either of us to tolerate much emotional roil and cognitively put it aside....

So, I'll try to continue to be patient and quiet about this concern. Still.....