Huge fight over an inch of a bicycle post

OMFG, Wednesday evening, B woke me gently from a nap on the couch and then harangued me with a very angry outburst of accusations. Disrespect, lack of consideration, controlling, and the like.

Why?????

Because I had raised her bicycle seat 1 inch. ONE inch. Really??? This is the cause of an angry outburst and a troubled conversation and evening to follow.... and lack of sleep....

Well, not entirely. I did get a little hot back at her, barking "Stop it!!" when she would not let up at all. Of course, then THAT was a big deal.... "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT. YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER. YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY OVER ME. HOW DARE YOU!!!!!"

Oh my but it was damned near deja vu all over again....

But outside of the one bark, I stayed pretty calm and collected. As the passion cooled a bit, it came out that B is STILL carrying a boatload of resentment and anger over "the disrespect you showed me in your messages to your friend Polly". She and her therapist had apparently discussed this a bit, this week  I suppose. Mind you, this continued negative feeling is lingering weeks after the time she read my email, and after we spent what was for the most part a nice, very coupled time in D.C. in early July. But I digress....

Her therapist agreed that it ought to be OK for me to have a platonic friend of the opposite sex to get together with now and again, talk, etc.... but that "intimate information about your relationship ought not to be part of the conversation. It should be things like 'Oh, we had a very nice time in D.C.'"

B, to her credit, isn't sure that's quite reasonable.... But one remark she made was that she, B, would be pretty wary of "you having conversations with someone that are too intimate and that could eventually lead to an affair.... that's how those things happen...."

Oh for.....

It cannot get any safer than Polly. SHE is in a committed relationship that she is working hard to keep working.  I'm in the same....  Polly has NEVER been attracted to me. I long ago got past any outright sexual attraction to her. And even if I did feel that, I DON'T FUCK AROUND ON MY PARTNER.

And neither would Polly.

This regular, repeating conflict of B feeling like the underdog in the relationship - financially and otherwise, insecure about my fidelity, and frankly, the primary burden of sustaining the relationship financially resting on me (I buy 3/4 of our food for home and when we go out) is getting really really old....