Early April, from me to Polly: B and I are doing fairly well, although she continues to have one helluva time with the "green eyed monster". I try really hard not to give her cause, but little issues arise regardless. Oh well. Can't be our age and not have a little baggage...
Then, this one on Jun 20:
hmmmm... I noticed you weren't that active on FB, and hoped you were just withdrawing from that for a while and not either depressed or peeved at me for my political postings. ( I had just been to the political rally on Tuesday and posted a few items from that....)
Anyway, similar to you and Bob, things go pretty well for me and B. Our issue is probably the complete opposite of yours, though. B and I probably tend to be overly together. I enjoy her company and our relationship, but frankly a lot of the reason I don't initiate time on my own is because she continues to struggle with relationship insecurities and sometimes near-paranoia that I am either involved with another woman(s) or am seeking to be or soon will be.... Odd triggers will set off that mood. Like when I had briefly logged in the the campus Exchange Calendar to using Outlook Web Access - she stumbled on to the history and thought I had "yet another email account you secretly use". Another was when she had trouble accessing the Verizon account. I thought she had the access she needed, but she didn't, so then I was "hiding something". You get the drift. Of course, I'm just about as faithful as they come, but she's still not easily shaking the early years of our relationship when I was involved with her and A2.... but that was before we were exclusive.... She sees a therapist, and we may eventually see one together for relationship purposes.
Of course, she's not the only one with a few "issues" in the relationship, LOL. I am sometimes pretty chagrined at how interactions between her and I can trigger my reactions and PTSD that I still carry from being with M. Last Sunday I thought she was bothered about something - because she seemed quiet and more withdrawn - and it triggered a wary and extremely cautious mood in me (actually that's not quite a negative enough description). She then picked up on MY mood, thought it was "because it was Father's day and you hadn't heard from your sons yet...." and tried to be careful around me - which exacerbated my upset, etc, etc....
Late in the day we sorted out - she said she didn't have anything going on or on her mind - that she just thought I was upset, when I was not..... at least not until I thought SHE was upset.... LOL.
Ain't love grand.
And the vacation thing is complicated for us too. With B being self-employed, it's often best to take a long weekend and not a full week's vacation. I'm adjusting to that. Vacation budget's a challenge, of course, too. And, similar to what you're saying, often there has to be an evaluation of whether to take time away with each other or go visit my relatives - Son and fam in NC, or my folks in FL, or even my aged uncle and aunt in rural podunk.
I figure for the most part she and I are just fine and pretty well adjusted. We definitely need to work on some things. And frankly, I figure most out there are in far worse mental/emotional shape than she or I am. I'm not going to fall into the trap of looking for the most perfect relationship in the universe.....
Hi Birdie,I'm fine, and thanks for asking. Guess I was getting tired of people saying "why don't you ever get on facebook' type of stuff. So for now I just temporarily discontinued my page. I can bring it up any time, just taking a break from all the computer stuff. Things are still going with Bob, but kind of slowly for me. I'm in a different place than he is regarding our relationship. We are so compatible in almost every regard, besides the closeness/relational (me) vs autonomy (him) needs. I struggle with how much time he chooses to go fishing, hunting, the races, etc. without me. At this point in my life I want a partner who wants to include me in the things he's passion about and spend time with me first then fits those other things in (definitely there needs to be a balance, but the balance just seems off. I've been with him almost 2 years and although we've done 'vacation' type of things together, it's always with friends, family, etc. We have never had a vacation just with the two of us. I don't think it's unreasonable to want as much time as he gives to the other things in his life. Hey? Anyway, the positive thing is that we are talking about it and compromising... no anger, no bitterness, etc., just fair and reasonable conversation. It's so different that in the past for me. I can speak my voice and know how Bob will respond. It's nice being able to be vulnerable with someone and not fearing them. So anyway.. didn't mean to run on.. (some things never change) but it has just been a little speed bump in the road, but I think we'll get through it.
It would be great to have lunch sometime if you could squeeze it in.
Let me know how you're doing and life is treating you.
Hugs,
Polly
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