An apt description

posted by a fellow partner of BPD folk on the Yahoo group Welcome To Oz on April 1:

Bpd is the illness of intimacy and love. And the bpd behaviour and
traits only appear when the bpd person develops those feelings towards
another person. Then the inevitable course takes its path. I
subscribe to the illness being the result of childhood trauma,
neglect, abuse. In any shape or form. A child wants to love and to be
loved. For her or his love to be rejected or abused hurts them and
confuses them. They try time and time again to receive parental love,
only to be pushed further into a safe place in their mind. When they
are not shown love or loved back. Eventually the only person they can
trust is themselves, but they cant even love themselves. For they are
in total confusion.

And as they develop into adult children the illness manifests itself
each and everytime they develop feelings for another adult child.
Their survival instinct kicks in. I will not be hurt, I cannot trust,
they will leave me.

I cant love them, I want to, but they will hurt me. I cannot be
rejected again, abandoned. I have to look after myself.

There is only me, I survived.

Hence the gas lighting, it is them not me. I am okay. The painting
black, they are going to hurt me. I'll get in first before I totally
give myself. Then I wont be hurt. I don't want to be abandoned like my
parents abandoned me. I hate rejection. But if I abandon and reject,
then I am safe.

There is only me, myself and my shadow.

I can't stand being alone, I need someone, I need love and praise, I
want to be accepted.

And the cycle repeats itself. The never ending circle that bpd is and
always will be.

So sad, but even sadder in that the bpds affects so many people who
develop intimacy with them, and there are many through their sad
lifetime. They are only ever a sad child in an adults body.

Their caregivers or parents are the ones that are or have really hurt
us. They live on through their child, still destroying, as they
destroyed the child they should have loved and nutured.

A bpd is and always will be a scared and tormented child in an adults
body.

And yes cunning, manipulative, etc. But isnt that what children are like.