a little more

As you work with Nina, it may be helpful for you to understand some history between us from my perspective.

And, speaking of working with Nina, I sincerely hope you are trying to look into your challenges in achieving emotional intimacy, and NOT pursuing some course of action that you hope will result in restoring our partnership relationship. I’m too far down another road now to go back, and continuing to entertain thoughts of “winning the relationship back” will only lead to hurt and disappointment.



Basically kept me at “arms-length” in regard to deeper emotional intimacy

Began to broach the idea of being “significant other” without it seemingly meaning either exclusive involvement or partnership.

Later, began to outright refer to me as your significant other but never professing actually loving me. Which seemed odd….and added support to my supposition that it was too difficult for you to become truly, deeply emotionally involved….

Basically, on an emotional level, your words always kept it at a superficial level, not intimate.

Even over Valentine’s weekend this year, you stated “it will be a LONG time before you’ll hear the “L” word come out of MY mouth.

I began to consciously move on after taking stock it seemed very apparent last Spring that “love” still scared you. As I’ve told you, I have memory of at least a couple of time using the word “love” in a sentence, and the sentence was not “I love you”… more like, “you know I love how you are” or “you know I love you as you are”, that sort of thing. And you reacted with near-panic.

I also came across an article in mid-May that helped me to assess things a bit further – to examine what existed between us and understand that there really wasn’t any sharing of emotions between us – and without that, we were not truly emotionally intimate and would not be becoming so.

And, as summer began, I had come to realize that my own feelings for you were deep friendship and deeper affection, but that I was not “in love” and didn’t think that was any mutual prospect for the foreseeable future. By mid-late summer, I opened up to another involvement (actually, rekindled the old one from earlier in the year).