Tension and fight

last night. Came home from our patio bar, B had seemed a bit reticent, so I asked what was going on. Got kind of a blast, not huge, more of an irked tone about how "you seemed to invite me to lunch at the PC lunch wagon on Friday, but then you almost immediately withdrew the invite. Since then I've tried to get clarification about plans and you just say you'll have to check....."

Listening to the overtones, I gathered she felt rejected in some manner.

I reacted a little heatedly but not with angry. Energetic, if you will, with my response.... It became clear that she had NO recollection of my specifying EXACTLY where the lunch wagon would be. Further, I had NO idea she thought the plan was only tentative, etc. We went round a bit.

She went to the complaints about "the high tone you take and the sarcasm when you respond in these arguments.  I told her that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to be entirely sanguine or phlegmatic in my tone and responses. Can't do it.

Anyway, as more came out, she still has sore memories of a week ago at the same bar, as well as Sunday's unpleasantness. "I don't really even want to go back to the patio bar. We ALWAYS fight after...." Not true, and I called her on some of her absolute statements.....

But, bottom line is apparently she's stewed a bit about that and other stuff for a few days... Plus she went back to the "we rarely have sex anymore" and all that.

It's weird to me that while SHE was stewing and wondering, again, about the relationship, I was exploring the idea  in my head and the practicality of getting married while we are visiting KY in a couple weeks.

This has happened before - where I think we're doing well, comfortable, can probably do the long term thing, might just as well do the marriage thing (and solve a whole passel of financial issues for HER.... and while these thoughts are in my head, SHE suddenly (it seems) has a relationship crisis.

I truly don't know quite what to think of that.