Well, I'm trying really hard to leave M be, and NOT jump to when a call or message comes through. Of course, I know she'll find that terribly alarming, but that's not my problem.
A familiar pattern though. After tangling with me Sunday night, she called at 6 a.m. today "hoping I have a good day and to tell me she loves me..." then.... tonight, predictably, I heard a call come in -- no mesage left... so I left it be... then, a few minutes ago, just after 8p, I got an text message tonight, clearly under the influence and leaning toward upset, all about how "I hope you're proud of yourself.... and I knew my thumb surgery was going to the the last straw".... etc, etc.
In other words, since I didn't contact her today, now she's got to make trouble and externalize blame for the difficulties in this relationship....
No surprises.
Anyway, I find it terribly hard NOT to engage with her. Part of that addictive relationship stuff I've discovered.
OTOH, instead of responding or calling her or any of that... and taking into account that I really am, still, pretty angry about Sunday's late day conversations and arguments....
So, after receiving her troubled text message, my response was to take the land line off hook and turn my cell phone off.
She can stew, but I don't have to take the calls or obsess about them.
In fact, my T is encouraging me to just delete them rather than bother to read or listen, when there's good reason to believe they're just troubled and troublesome.
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