Last couple days

were interesting and predictable.

Thursday, M called me in the p.m. with a "proposition" to go to a benefit concert as friends who both would enjoy the broadway music. Well, it turned out to be movie music, lots of love songs, most of which we have a history with -- with mucked with her emotions!! On the 40 minute drive home, she said, "I want you to know this wasn't bad, but it was hard. ". The prefix to going out was a light supper and attempts by her to engage me in questions that should not have been put considering it was supposed to be entirely friendly and social. I got frustrated but not angry. Afterward we shared some sparkling wine without much incident.

Yesterday a.m., she'd left two pleasant voicemails wishing me well. So, I called her on my way to work (trying to apply her advice that a little light contact is better than cutting her off -- which tends to result in her acting out compulsively with excessive phone attempts and such). Well, my friendly call back to her ended up clearly being a mistake because she couldn't resist but to start poking her head into things she shouldn't. When I started to react and wanted her to back off, she kept on -- which put me in a very sour and angry mood. Then my phone battery died, so she thought I hung up on her.... etc, etc.

Made for a very tense start of the day. I did manage to call her back later about something else without a lot of tension or incident.

But, again, my mistake, she had mentioned being in town in the late p.m., so maybe we could get together briefly. So as my day came to a close, I called her. Well, she was in a really really bad mood, was poor company. Clearly struggling with the new realities (no surprise, that).

I told her outright that if she didn't feel like getting together after all, she should have just said so. After I finally left, she did phone and leave me apologies, although with a complaint about how apologizing seems to be all she'd done all day long. Somehow that tempers the sincerity.