How to reconcile the irreconcilable

Here's the problem I'm having. I cannot reconcile the idea of a continuing relationship with M and:

• a troubled relationship / history she has with my older son
  
• same with my mother
  
• same with my brothers, and especially their wives
  
• and the prospect of having to manage my way, and help my mother, as my father contends with Alzheimer's
  
• and trying to be a long-distant granddad to my 4 y.o. granddaughter
  
• and trying to preserve, even improve, my relationships with my own relatives
  

and on, and on.

Then, there is my own interest in getting in better shape. Playing the piano more often. Exploring interesting ideas (paganism, druidism, eastern thought, yoga).

Travel to Europe and such.....

Doing my job well, without guilt or rancor at home....

I also hate to give up lovely country grounds and gardens. Yet, I think anymore, I would actually prefer a bit more urban, connected living quarters.

I could probably go on and on. But I return to the title, how do you reconcile the irreconcilable?