crashed already

last night into today... of course. She can't sustain a good positive aspect.... All I have to do is say the wrong thing or fail to say the right one... etc, etc

In this case, late, pillow talk. She starts into how she's kind of scared to be down here on her own, away from me for a month, etc, etc.

Said, "I'm really going to miss you"

My response, instead of a like sentiment, was to say something like, "It's really too soon to be into all that, don't you think..??"

I don't know if I did or did not say I'd miss her to, but she's told me emphatically, several times since, that I did not....

that I clearly "just want to be rid of her".

Yup. She's riding the crash. Swung to black just that quick. she can't give it up, either.

Went on into today, although at times she seemed to be contrite about her overly emotional state of mind, and such...

But, overall, a misery.

PLUS, she's really quite physically ill. She hadn't really made me fully aware of the extent of her gastointestinal issues. Until she called me in to see the horrendous aftermath of an explosive diarrhea episode -- which I cleaned up.... pointing out to her, as she kept telling me she would clean it, that when she's looking for evidence that I love her -- it doesn't get a whole lot more loving than to clean up your loved one's shit.

anyway, we're pretty sure the cause is something called bacterial overgrowth in the small intestine and we've come up with some natural remedies.


Of course, a whole lot of it is just plain stress induced. The stress she's feeling as a result of the extreme crash she's holding on to. The "failed relationship" stress and all that.

I imagine that one I vacate, and she's adjusted in a few days, she'll shake the intense stress and that will make the rest better by some, maybe by a lot.