worse and worse

M's really kicked up a bitter, bitter fuss about my schedule of late. Late Feb and March is always like this. And, I'm frustrated as I talk with old friends that for me, despite feeling like I do all that I can to be at home, with her, as much as possible, it's just not enough.

Yet, I feel as if over the years, I've focused SO MUCH on her and her needs, I've neglected my own and my own needs.

I don't have the contact with my brothers I want to. Nor my sons, nor my granddaugher, nor my parents..... nor friends.....

Yet it's not enough.

I have a local theatre group auditioning for 1776 soon -- something I'd consider.... But, I know she can't accept that.

And job demands are going to get worse for awhile, not better.... She wants comprormise, but the compromise she's looking for would further reduce how well I'm doing my job. That cannot happen.

It's plain as day that I cannot have a life of my own, I cannot have a healthy body, whole psyche, and a life full of vitality and continue like this.

I hate sayng this, but it looks like "it's time".