M called last night and actually stayed pretty reasonable... although, she got my goat eventually as she kept casting about for reassuring and "caring" words from me. Hard to describe her tone very accurately. She sounded like she hadn't been drinking much or taken too much in the way of valium or xanax. Sounded like she was trying to stay emminently reasonable. Although, it became obvious as I began to react to the attempts to entrap me... that she was also trying to be the "good guy" to my "bad guy".... or whatever.
I got pretty antsy and pissy a few times.... No doubt about that.
She also mentioned feeling pretty homesick at this point.....
Later, after I turned my phone off, she left a pleasant message about what a nice night, and the stars and all.... but, of course, by midnight, had melted down and left what almost sounded self destructive. Hard to tell.
OTOH, I received several pictures / emails this a.m..... which tells me she must not have done anything drastic as of 11:30 a.m. or so....
BUT, I didn't try to call her right away, as I was busy with some home business. Was 1:00p before I had a chance to try to give her a holler.
Well, her phone is OFF. Now it's past 4:00 p and the phone is still turned off....
Again, not sure what to make, or that I WANT to make much out of that.
But, I have to face that she may very well have done herself some self harm. If typical, a non-fatal dose of pills. But, one day she may succeed, and this could be the day. OTOH, turning her phone off may just be passive-aggressive behavior. Angry because I didn't call soon enough, or contrite enough or whatever.
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