The cycle

Interesting when you can step back and clearly see some of the regular cycling that occurs in her moods and reactions.

Sunday, she melted down -- pretty manic / dysphoric. Moved to a more neutral, but negative emotional set over the next couple days.

Now, she's deep into the "poor me" stuff, and how hard her life is.... looking for pity and understanding and feeling abandoned and all....

Anyway, as I was getting ready to leave for an EXPECTED TRIP, that she'd FORGOTTEN started tonight, she:

1) asked that I do some soul searching and think about how I'd feel if I WERE HER (now, what does she imagine that might mean to me....)

2) got her Dr Phil exercises out to share, again....

#2 is something she does, I've noticed, when she's really at a point of feeling vulnerable and about to be abandoned (or left)....

It's really quite predictable. The message is supposed to be, "See how hard I'm trying".
Although, sometimes she can't resist, and makes the message that, plus, "and YOU aren't trying AT ALL to save this relataionship."

Well, that's kind of true. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to "save myself".

In many, many ways, my relationship with her has been been like the person who makes the mistake of trying to save a drowning person "head on". Lifesaving training tells you to approach from behind, because if you approach HEAD ON, being in a panicked state, the victim will often grab you and pull you both down.

I've come to realize that's what's happened in many ways in this relationship.

It's time for her to swim.