Note #2, keyed @the computer

copied this directly from the file she saved

Re: the scar on my forehead--- Needs to be fixed since you told 2-3 years ago that my “wrinkled” foreheard makes me look old and bothers you--- S0, yes, I was dumb –
BUT --- there were THREE men who could have prevented the accident that resulted in an ugly scar on my foreheard. So---I HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE. You were too busy entertaining your family to even accompany me to the urgent care to deal with the injury.
Guess that tells me where I fit (or don’t ) fit into your life and family, eh? I hold you responsibler and wull do whatever I can to fix the scar and YOU can pay for it. I wouldn’t and don’t want to be any more unattractive than you already find me. So sorry that I totally ruined, or rather finished ruining my thumb joints making YOUR PROPERTY more valuable. Had I been able to see into the future, I would have totally focused on doing whatever I could to make myself more physically well (re: you probably don’t even remember the chronic fatigue and eventually the fibromyalgia since it didn’t happen to you, it simply is not within your realm to understand or even try to understand and empathize with). YOU ONLY BELIEVE THAT I HAVE BEEN A BURDEN TO YOU FOR YEARS AND YEARSl Don’t ever remember all the counsel and encouragement I have given you over the years. You wouldn’t even be at the university if I hadn’t gone to bat for you. Do you even remember that? No! I have come to believe that everything you have accomplished in your career, you have done solely on your own. Good for you. BUT in reality, you would not be where you are now without me and without Tom so perhaps you might want to think about being just a bit more grateful and nicer to me. I don’t care what your relationship is with Tom. They don’t seem to like me anyway.

Do you know how hard I have worked at making my sleep/wake schedule match yours? Likely NOT. Even when I am successful, I don’t think you even notice. I truly believe I am a non-entity in your life. Sorry to be such a bother but we have devoted nearly 15 years of our lives to one another, Consider talking to NANCY about how we have gotten here with no commitment on your part to this relationship, or whatever it is…..I think it is just a convenience for you and I am not, and never will be, worthy of a commitment from you. (Sorry to tell you that I am done with being the indentured servant around here.) I’m most certain that the two of you will conclude that I AM THE SOLE PROBLEM since Leo is always right and if I challenge him then he is the wronged party.

Just forget all the years that I have welcomed, made your family more than comfortable, been faulted by almost everyone in your family for something or other, taken on the responsibility for entertaining and feeding and providing for all of your family members without assistance from you – or even a thank you – from anyone except
Rosemary and we all know EXACTLY what your MOTHER thinks of her!

Oh, well. Sorry to have bothered you, but I’m truly tired of living alone. I’m tired or being so far down that I don’t even make your priority list. I’m sorry that you feel that I have been unsupportive of you and your mother and father in their Alzheimer’s crisis, I’m sorry that I thought that my reading, research and suggestions would be helpful—they haven’t been. As far as I can tell you all are in denial. I’m sorry that this year is the 25th anniversary of my mother’s death. I celebrate that you have had a long, happy, fulfilling life with your parents. I’ll never know what that is like since your parents don’t like me for whatever reason. I guess I’ll never know.

The time has come for me to try to reconnect with the only family I have—my two sons. I’m sorry if that interferes in your life, but you have made it abundantly clear that I don’t even make your priority list, so I have to do what I can to salvage what I have sacrificed to give you and your family what I thought you wanted and that you expected of me. Just call me dumb and dumber.