Shortly after I got up this a.m., M began to engage me -- negatively. Near as I could tell it was a combination of her not sleeping much, pain, misery, and her generally being irked at some things that had come up during supper last night. Namely my busy schedule for the week and her invitation / noninvitation to a political social event on Friday coming up.
She particularly focused on my making a statement about "rejection"..... as in, "how dare I imply that I could be rejected after all the rejection she experiences.... with me." It took a bit of engagement for me to figure out what she was talking about.
It was regarding the Friday night gig. I told her there was a seat / ticket for her if she would like to go (I did this despite her previously expressed hostility and disdain for attending such a boring event.) I told her that the seat was available but didn't want her to feel obligated or like she had to go (to something she'd be uncomfortable at.)
Well, she said some yadayadayada..... followed by "I guess if you want me to go, you'll just have to ask me to go...." (mind you, I thought I already HAD invited her.)
Well, my statement back to her was sommething like, "M, the way you're putting that sets up a rejection" (meaning for HER to feel, not me....) Her phraseology was such that if I DID NOT ask her, I was rejecting her.... which was unfair to me, since I'd already invited her to go.
Anyway, I managed NOT to get angry or engage negatively with her any more than necessary. Finally, after I had some breakfast, I went back and clearly told her, "I'd like you to go, I've enjoyed having you at this event...."
Seemed to paper it over enough....
Well, the V-day flowers that arrived later in the morning probably helped, too.
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