Email from midnightish

Envelope-to: lsell@msu.edu
Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2007 00:48:56 -0400

Subject: ????

I have NOT heard from you for weeks and weeks anything that remotely resembles anything that remotely sounds like I LOVE YOU. Bad sign. Really bad sign.

All I have heard is how awful I am in trying to stay out of your parents' way. How has that become such a HUGE ISSUE? Your family is more than welcome here. My not being here should not ever be an issue, ever. I simply do NOT UNDERSTAND what is the big deal????

Yes, we were all close a few years ago, but I cannot explain what has happened nor do I have any answers to your questions that you can understand or listen to. I am very sorry for that. i THOUGHT (silly me) that we had made a commitment to one another,barring outside stuff, because I believed WE were IMPORTANT but apparently I am once again totally clueless


Sorry I sincerely believed that we were back on the right track this spring. Clearly I was wrong, eh?

Would that I could go back and intervene in that brief, almost non-conversation, that occurred between you and your mother, without any thought of including me.... or that you had had the consideration to include me.... and which I had to pull up from a distant memory (because I WAS TRYING to get ready to go on a rare vacation with you)to even be able to question you about specific details..... which you didn't know at the time any details hen I asked questions nd you put be off... as usual.


I feel like I am always wrong and I cannot envision a scenario where I would ever be right..... or listened to sincerely.... or ever be acknowledged as being right, or being an intelligent human being with a fully functional brain .,... Funny how when the truth hits too close too home that you close down.

Why is that? Maybe , just maybe, ....... you are too used to being always right. HELLO... I AM NOT JUST A BLOND BIMBO (such as Maggie said you would choose and deserve). I am sure you are unaware that I am an intelligent human being, actually quite intelligent, and that, perhaps, you have become so accustomed to having your own way that you have no capacity to step outside yourself and see any other point of view,.....Sad for someone who does what you do to make a living. Good luck.

Never forget, lest you have already forgotten, I love you. I doubt that you can say that to me and really be truthful and really have it come from your heart. Time's passed. Ya know?

l/m, as always