Little tired, and a little pissed off (review of Tuesday night)

That's how I'm feeling so far this a.m..

Let's just review my last two "evenings at home", shall we.

Monday evening I recall neutrally.

Tuesday evening, though, as you may gather from a previous post, was egregious. I felt as if M was a powderkeg, and with my current work troubles -- and the challenge I am having in being fully productive because of all the sh** I have on my mind all the time with living with and coping with her -- I deliberately did NOT call her during the day. I just didn't want my head messed up...

Oh, but I forget, the nasty tenor that ensued was MY FAULT so I was told that night. You see, I left Tuesday a.m. with the comment, pleasantly expressed, "See you when I get home after work." Perfectly civil, courteous, pleasant... or so I thought.

But apparently, SHE read into that, "Don't call me; I'm not bothering to invite you to lunch or coffee or anything today; Don't bother me; Don't expect to see / talk to me until after work." At least that's what I got out of the diatribes that ensued Tuesday night. She really resented that I didn't make any invite or call at all during the day.

Oh, and my personal favorite interchange was when she recalled that I hadn't been feeling well (and I had told her that part of the reason I hadn't made much contact on Monday was feeling physically very lousy -- some damn virus again, exacerbated of course...)

She said, "You know, you said you haven't been feeling well. I think it's STRESS. "

Well, hello...... I started to say, "Well, it's both. I know when I have a virus.... and it's made me feel pretty lousy... but, yes, it's definitely been exacerbated by stre..."

and she interrupts me. She often / usually does. Her conversation style is interruptive. She thinks it's a typically feminine style, but I think it's more interruptive and rude than average.... Anyway, she interrupted and went off on her tangents and her tear.... I don't even recall the detail of it....

But, here's the best part. Before long she was complaining about how, "The only couple of times I've tried to talk to you in front of your mother, SHE'S INTERRUPTED and rolled right over the top of me...." "That's just rude and inconsiderate!" (and, apparently, more proof of my mother's dislike and disrespect, I guess).

I finally pointed out that such was exactly the same communication style as M has.... But, somehow that's different.

When she settled some, she also wanted me to clarify to my folks that M's daytime trips out of the house are "pretty normal". "After all, up until I had to clean the house for a month, I was trying to get out and be somewhere around people every day or two. So you need to make clear to your mother that I'm not doing that to avoid being around them."

OK, sure. I'll tell her..... but she and I and anyone rational will understand M is just fooling herself and rationalizing her behaviors.

Anyway, as the evening went on, M got worse, more angry and dysphoric. I touched on that in other entries. I nearly had to leave the house, again. She threatened to change the locks, etc, etc.

It was 11:30p plus before I was able to settle and go to sleep.... and she was troubled enough in her sleeping to bother me, I think... So, it wasn't very restful.

I did make a point, toward morning, or caressing her waist and later, lightly cuddling her. I though it might be a welcome show of caring.... but I was mistaken. I'll explain in a subsequent entry.