First trouble phone call of her absence

Well, no surprise.

I left her a polite message to let her know that mom and dad got in safe and sound and thanked her for making up their bed.... No more than that -- I'm just barely able to be civil and polite -- too much too sound too caring / loving at this moment after the serious dysphorias of the last few days.

So, awhile later, M called back. First my cell, which I ignored, then the land line. Which I answered.... happened to take the call outside, so the difficulties that arose weren't overheard.

Of course, she was terribly unsatisfied with the message I left. "Pretty distant" "Sounded obligatory".

Of course, the conversation then rapidly deteriorated. I tried to change subjects. Other stuff. More strained conversation. I tried to beg off before it got too unpleasant, but she wasn't having it.

Gave her some grief about the "tests" she was throwing up, again, that I'm failing. She got nasty back. Went toward nasty about my mom, of course, too... so I really pushed to get off the phone.

Finally, told her that frankly I was feeling pretty frustrated and upset. "I don't know what YOU have to be upset about. I've stayed out of your way...."

I finally told her, "Look, you cannot have the levels of dysphoria that have gone on the last few days without an effect on those around you. Those behaviors have psychic cost to the others. "

She didn't want to accept that very badly, but didn't dispute about it further, either.

She kept carrying on about how I hadn't shown any love or concern, etc, etc.... Finally she gave up on the conversation. But, not before asserting that "I suppose your mother is hearing your end of all this."

I told her, No, I am outside and she's not hearing.


In fact, when I came in, mom did not say word ONE about it... Nothing. Which is as it should be, I'd say.