I feel lost

in the wilderness of BP pathology.

M finally tried to engage me, but it seemed as if she was trying to get me to say something or respond in some specific way -- which I could not / know not.

I tried to draw a boundary. Still, she lobbed "I'm hurting" grenades over it.

She wants to have a further conversation about my conferences, but didn't care for it when I said I wasn't prepared to have that conversation right at that moment. Her response was snarky. Which troubled me -- nay, made my anger rise..... but I tamped it down.

Before she quit, she made a statement along the lines of, "You are slowly, deliberately pushing me altogether out of your life...."

I didn't respond.

I hit the treadmill for 20 minutes to try and burn the negative energy off. It helped, but I still feel terribly disquieted. Morose.

A deep sadness has come over me.

I feel alone. Deeply wounded.