regarding "love" and unconditional love

From a recent message in a thread on the WelcomeToOz group @ yahoo.

Much of this really touched me and made sense to me (any emphasis
is mine):

Only God can give us unconditonal love. And parents may have it for their children. Unconditional love for a person that you did not having anything to do with their
biological creation is totally unrealistic. Even a healthy couple's
love is conditional on certain requirements being met. I don't want
to call what we give our BPs unconditional love, I'd rather call it
"TEMPORARY INSANITY". When we meet somebody fall we fall in lust. It really does take a long time for deep emotional love to develop and ithas to be fed to grow. Our BPs do not feed our emotions, they do not grow.

What grows is our need to not fail (again), our need to be needed. Most of us who end up in these relations have our own issues to deal with stemming from childhood emotional trauma. [mine isn't from trauma, but from over-responsibility and being taken advantage of by a first and second "wife" that needed a co-dependent].

These (BPD) folks need us so desperately that we honestly confuse this with love.
This is just my own not-worth-it-to anybody-but-myself opinion of course.

Let me ask you all this. If you have a life long friend, let say one who you've known
since elementary school and you guys do love each other because you've
supported each other, etc all the cool things our true freinds to for
us and one day your friend starts treating us the way our BP does, how
long are you going to continue to be friends with this person? not
long. You will feel betrayed, and it will hurt but you will be
willing to let that friendship go. Now, we meet these folks, they
engage us, they catch us and next thing we know we are "in love". So
in love that we cannot leave them even though they can't even give us
a friendship, much less a loving relationship. Think about it. How in love are we with a person who won't and never will let us get as up close and personal as our best friends with whom we can share all our secrets and know they will never be used against us? [oh so true] But oh we are so "in Love". Are we really?

I think we are in love with the idea of being in love. They can never be our best freinds, they can never be a source of support, our relationships will never mature. Because we cannot trust them not to hurt us. So, "in love"? I doubt it. And unconditional love, even less likely. What we gave them was our entire trusting being, because we were not healthy enough to realize what or who they were. They needed us so badly and we needed to be needed. Is that really love? Of course I can say that now LOL I remember feeling "in love" too. Took me a while and few sessions with a T to realize it was all just smoke
and mirrors. Take care of you.